To our beloved Son and Daughter, with graduation just around the corner, we realize that as you make your way in this world, you will be facing many choices. Some of the choices you make will be easy, some very difficult, and some will be much more dangerous then others. We pray that our years together have helped form a solid foundation for choosing truth and goodness above all else. We encourage you to always take Pope Francis’ advice to heart: “Ask Jesus what He wants from you, and be brave.”

When our Holy Father asks us to be brave, perhaps it is because he sees this culture’s tide coming in and understands what young people are up against. As Catholics we are swimming against the tide all the time. If we are not swimming against it, that means we are going with the flow; current culture’s definition of freedom which can be summarized like this: I should be able to do what I want, when I want, and how I want. You have your truth and I have mine. If it feels good, do it…as long as I don’t harm anyone, etc. Today, it’s almost as if all choices are exempt from moral judgment. You will see this in your peers, extended family, immediate family, classmates, high school teachers and college professors, the media, politicians…relativism is rampant in our world today (Relativism : a view that ethical truths depend on the individual and/or groups holding them. Merriam Webster Online).

Yet, common sense and our faith tells us that certain things the world says is ok, are not ok. In all of history the idea that “each person has their own truth” has never improved anyone’s life, and it has never given anyone freedom. In fact, it takes freedom away. Think of it this way: The popular trend in our culture today is that pre-marital sex is the norm. Unfortunately, "popular trend" is putting it lightly. This sort of thinking is everywhere. Yet, what does a sexually active, single young woman start thinking about 24/7 if she is 2-3 days late for her period? And, if your mind, heart, soul and psych are all consumed by the thought of being pregnant, how is that freedom? This is not about controlling you…It is about you controlling yourself so that you can have true freedom.

Our society is full of people who are wounded from playing with fire, in fact, you know many of them personally. You have friends who are fatherless, motherless; they have broken hearts and broken souls, they grew up getting bounced back and forth between households, the list goes on...all in the name of “there is no right and wrong.”

Please take to heart the challenge of Pope John Paul II: “Some of you may be tempted to take flight from responsibility: in the fantasy worlds of alcohol and drugs, in short-lived sexual relationships without commitment to marriage and family, in indifference, in cynicism and even in violence. Put yourselves on guard against the fraud of a world that wants to exploit or misdirect your energetic and powerful search for happiness and meaning. But do not avoid the search for the true answers to the questions that confront you. Do not be afraid!”
Love,
Dad and Mom

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To our Son and Daughter, First let’s start with something you already know. Sex is good; sex is great. God made it a joy for us because He is just brimming over with joy.

Second, this God of joy is also behind all the rules about sex. Actually, there is really only one rule: no adultery. The most basic rule is embarrassingly easy to understand: it’s for marriage. In marriage, yes; outside marriage, no. Jews and Muslims have the same rule. It came from the same Designer.

Third, the sexual revolution has already destroyed more families and more human happiness than any political revolution in history. Callers on talk shows all bleed from the same wound inflicted by the same type of self absorbed neanderthol. Don’t be one. Not because it is forbidden but because it is fake. Remove sex from where it is designed to be; remove it from total love, commitment, self-giving, and fidelity; remove it from marriage, family, children, and society; turn it into a private, “consensual,” “libertarian,” “recreational” thing; and what do you have? Something fake. (Excerpts from Peter Kreeft, Catholic Philosopher)

It's definitely difficult to save sex for marriage; especially when so many today sadly view it almost as a form of recreation -- but it's worth the wait regardless of what the majority says.

You wait for marriage because you don’t want to worry about a baby being born out of wedlock. You wait because you don’t want to walk into Rite-Aid or planned parenthood for a cheap bag of chemicals that cause the body to lie to it’s very self. You wait because you don’t want her to have the severe headaches and side effects that come with those chemicals that create chaos in her body, mind and heart. You wait so that you can go out and date and have the freedom to actually figure out what a good marriage partner is...there is that one rule so that young men can actually know how many children they really have in this world, and, know their children...so that children who are born into this world will have family’s that are not broken and so that they can know and love and grow up with their own biological father...so that they won’t be aborted before they have a chance to be born. The rule is to protect and ensure your happiness, NOT take it away.

A love between a man and a woman that is truly free to grow and even fill the air all around you is one that is pure and chaste-and waits for the day when family and friends witness your promises to each other and to God, through sickness and health, through good times and bad…forever…The fundamental reasons for waiting until marriage are you want the long term good of the other person above your own immediate desires; because you want to honor her for who she is, not what she is. You wait because that is what real love does…it puts the good of the Beloved before one’s self.

When you think about everything that was good in your lives, it all came from committed love. Not perfect love. Committed. There’s nothing more beautiful, inspiring and fulfilling as being in a relationship with a really good person who bases life and decisions on truth, integrity, love of others, commitment, and love of God. This does not make one’s life easier. There is still the struggle of our own ego’s getting in the way. No, it does not make it easier, but it does make life better! Consider the words of St John Chrysostom as an example of such love. He said that a young husband should say to his bride, “I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us.” This is love: when no pleasure on this earth could be more desirable than wanting to be with this one person for all of eternity and taking every opportunity in word and deed to ensure that possibility.
Love,
Dad and Mom