What is the purpose of Memorial Day? Ask your children that question and you might be surprised with the answer they give you. Many don’t know and others tend to forget exactly why the holiday was created. Given that it's also the traditional beginning of the summer season, there seems to be some confusion by the general public over what the holiday honors.

The holiday, instituted in 1866 in the wake of the Civil War, was first known as Decoration Day. It was set aside to remember both Union and Confederate soldiers alike. It's hard to imagine, but during the Civil War more Americans died (620,000) than in both World Wars combined (521,000).

The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war.

During that first national celebration, former Union General James Garfield made a speech at Arlington National Cemetery, after which 5,000 participants helped to decorate the graves of the more than 20,000 Union and Confederate soldiers who were buried there.

“We do not know one promise these men made, one pledge they gave, one word they spoke; but we do know they summed up and perfected, by one supreme act, the highest virtues of men and citizens. For love of country they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made immortal their patriotism and their virtue.”

Memorial Day is not Independence Day or Veterans' Day; it is not for celebrating national pride or thanking all armed service members. Memorial Day is specifically meant to honor and remember those who lost their lives while serving in the U.S. military. They died in the field of combat and returned home under solemn circumstances, inside flag-draped caskets. Memorial Day is when we are supposed to show gratitude to the countless American soldiers who never came home. It's not about summer blow-out sales at your favorite department store or backyard barbeques. It's a holiday that is not meant to be festive, and that fact seems to escape most people.

Memorial Day is reserved for those who can't return a smile or a salute, not to mention the families and friends who have been left behind. On Memorial Day we need to stop and pay with sincere conviction our respects for those who died protecting and preserving the freedoms we enjoy, for we owe those honored dead more than we can ever repay.

People of other nations sometimes show more of the true spirit of Memorial Day more than we do here. For example, a 2001 U.S. Memorial Day Guestbook entry from a citizen of the Netherlands states:

"In 1999 I laid flowers at the grave of a young U.S. fighter pilot who was killed in action in my village in 1945. In the Netherlands I know of schools 'adopting' graves of Allied servicemen, keeping those graves in excellent condition. Does anybody know of adopting graves in the U.S. by schools?”

How many graves of our fallen do we in America leave dishonored by leaving their resting places forgotten and neglected? We need to remember with sincere respect those who paid the price for our freedoms; we need to keep in sacred remembrance those who died serving their country. We need to never let them be forgotten.

"Let no vandalism of avarice or neglect, no ravages of time testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic." -- General Logan - May 5, 1868