This guy is driving through Oklahoma on the way back home to Texas, and he spots a sign in front of a house on a rural road: "Talking Dog For Sale." He stops the car, backs up, drives into the driveway, walks up to the front door, rings the bell, and the door opens. The traveler inquires about the "talking dog", and the owner promptly directs the guy to the back yard.

There, sits a Labrador Retriever sitting beside a doghouse.

"You talk?", he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So...what's your story?"

The Lab looks up with big eyes, licks his nose and chops with a big tongue and then says..."Well, I discovered I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government in the Bush, then the Obama Administration, so I went and called the CIA one day on the telephone while my master was away. I told them all about my 'gift', and in no time at all they had me jetting to country to country, sitting in meeting rooms, listening outside hotel room doors, watching hand-overs taking place beside fire hydrants in front of outside marketplaces and all...so I could spy on world leaders and their spies, because no one figured out that a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of the CIA's most valuable spies for eight years running!"

"But, the jetting-around really tired me out as you know, in a dog's life, our years accelerate faster than yours. I knew I was not getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the Oklahoma City Airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters, listening in, and sniffing luggage, boxes and pants."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. Then, I got married and had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed at all this! He goes back where the owner is standing on the porch and asks him how much he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars!!" "That's all", said the owner.

"But...why only ten dollars?" "This dog is amazing." "Why on earth are you selling this dog so cheap?", inquires the interested traveler.

"Because the dog is a damned liar! He never did any of that stuff!"